Honoring Our Beloved Dead This Autumn

Ancestor Altar honoring my Nana, Marion Williamson during these autumn weeks in which people all over the world celebrate their Ancestors and Beloved Dead with altars commemorating them, stories and memories shared about them, and Ancestor Feasts.
Photo taken November 4, 2009

Those who are dead are never gone:
they are there in the thickening shadow.
The dead are not under the earth:
they are in the tree that rustles,
they are in the wood that groans,
they are in the water that sleeps,
they are in the hut, they are in the crowd,
the dead are not dead.

by Birago Diop:



In Memory of Our Beloved Dead



My path has crossed those of many friends and teachers who no longer walk the earth plane with me but I will be forever thankful to them for the parts they played in the great drama of my life ~ however large or small it may have been. I also kneel with the deepest gratitude of my heart to my Ancestors, known and loved as well as forever unknown, who have made my life and the life of my child possible!



Would you like to honor your loved ones who have passed away?



Here are some ideas for you:



My favorite way to show this honor is to create an Ancestor altar. Your altar can be anywhere at all that feels right for you. If your dearly departed loved to cook, you might have it in the middle of the kitchen or on a windowsill above the sink. If they loved to garden, you could set up an outdoor shrine on a large stone or in the hollow of a backyard tree.



Wherever you place your altar, you might want to first lay down a piece of fabric that you find pleasing. If you have your Nana's apron, for example, you could use that as your altar cloth! If your Great-Aunt fancied wool from Ireland, you can lay your Irish knit sweater down as the base. Creating altars is so fun! Just follow your intuition...



Once you've got the location and altar cloth laid down, you can begin placing items on it that remind you of them; items that celebrate their lives.



These can be photographs of your Beloved Dead; personal items of theirs that were passed onto you; mementos of times shared with them during life; a bottle of their favorite perfume; Your altar will be a personal and unique creation of love.



Beside my Nana's photograph I place her thimble, some of her crystals and a ring of hers passed onto me by my Mother. Near my Grandfathers picture, I have put a piece of a hand-mirror from his country store in Wisconsin. A friend, last night, brought a hand-carved wooden cane that belonged to her father who passed away last month. She set his picture beside it. Another woman had a pocket watch; another a feather and ink for her father who worked at a newspaper.



Another tradition of the season is setting out an Ancestor Plate on your altar. This is like an offering plate for your deceased loved ones. Our offerings are symbolic ways we can say, "Thank you for all the gifts you've given us." In our family we gather with friends for an Ancestor Feast each year at this time. We cook the favorite foods of our Beloved Dead or something from a family recipe to show respect and honor for the gifts passed down to us through our family lines. A portion of this is shared with our loved ones on the Ancestor Plate. At the end of the night, we often put it outdoors. Will it be there when we awaken?



Everyone brings photos and mementos of their Beloved Dead for the Ancestor Altar and we gather in a circle to talk about the items we brought and to pass photos of our deceased loved ones around as we share stories and memories of them. We share our favorite autumn poems and sing songs of the season. Before you know it, the whole house begins to glow with happy stories, memories and laughter ~ not to mention the Spirits dancing about, and grateful to be remembered, I'm sure!



If you wish to have a quiet and peaceful visit with your deceased loved one, you could visit with them at their graveside or through your memory by going to a place in nature they loved during their life. If your loved one had an affinity with the ocean, you could sit by the seashore on a salty rock, close your eyes and remember them. You could also visit a museum, a restaurant, an old corner store or any place that reminds you of your loved one or special times you have shared with them.



An aunt of mine gathered flowers from my Nana's grave. She had them pressed into beads and strung as a piece of jewelry that will forever honor the memory, and hold the energy of, her Mother; a treasure that can be passed on through the generations.



During this time, it is said that the veils between the living and the dead are so thin that those who have gone on to the Other side can pass through to visit and bring messages of guidance to us, with ease!



Whenever I hear a Carole King song during this time of the year, I know it is my friend Rob who died thirteen years ago this November, speaking through the veils to me. He called me Gypsy, I called him The Breeze. I think of him whenever I smell cinnamon coffee. A stick of this autumn spice on my altar will honor him and the many mornings we drank coffee and talked around the red, 1950's, metal, kitchen table I had when I was 22 years old and swaying in glory to the "Tapestry" album as it spun on my record player was all that mattered.



So, listen to the whispers in the wind, watch for messages on Mack trucks, sweet nothings from the vanity plate of the car that cuts in front of you! Notice what songs pop on the radio, what books or memories jump out of your mind! Notice, too, what dreams you have in the night-time and pay particular attention to what the wee ones in your life say because it is true that children are very open to the Spirit realms and they often see and hear things we may miss at first!



However you choose to celebrate and commemorate your loved ones will be meaningful to you. Honoring them, also celebrates and honors you. It will remind you of your own life; with its' joys and sorrows, journeys and still points and the many thousands of individual moments and memories that have added up to create the story of your own, sweet life.



Light a candle.



I invite you all, now, to take a few moments to remember, honor and thank the loved ones who have passed into the Great Mystery.



Say a prayer.



A prayer that they may guide us and help us to live our lives to the fullest no matter how that fullest looks.

A prayer that they will help us learn from their mistakes and their successes.

A prayer that we be filled with a love that transcends all time and boundaries.

A prayer that we keep our hearts open to giving and receiving love.

A prayer that our personal gifts, our strengths and encouragement, be shared freely with those in need.

And a prayer that we may be the kind of loving presence in our childrens' lives that we will be worthy of having our own picture on the Ancestor altars of our descendants some wild and leaf-strewn magical autumn night one hundred years from now...



For....



We are the ones our children watch and learn from...



And some day, we will all be Ancestors!



May you be remembered well when your time comes!



And may fond memories, happy thoughts, deep laughter and full bellies be yours now and forever more!



Blessed Be,



Melissa

Seasonal Altars From Our Home

New Moon in Cancer

Tonight at 10:35 pm is the New Moon in Cancer. It is a very powerful moon! Being that I'm only an astrologer in training, I'll leave the details of it to the experts. I personally love mooncircles.com! I can say, however, that I'm excited to harness these energies so that I may use them to help me on my healing journey. The journey I have always been on and the one I plan on continuing!

During the New Moon, I set my intentions and desires for the coming month. Tonight I will think specifically of familiar patterns that no longer serve my highest good. I will then set an intention to release and re-set new and positive habits and choice-making abilities within my self and my life.

Cancer is also the sign of the Universal Mother. I call her Goddess and she has many names and many faces. She is a reflection of all of who I am ~ of all women in our varied and rich ways of being.

I read a beautiful message today from an astrologer named Pythia Peay. She shared that the message of the Cancer Moon is this...

Imagine that you are listening to one of the unconditionally-loving great mother archetypes ~ such as The Blessed Mother Mary or Quan Yin or Isis or Ceres speaking these words to you:

"Open up your heart center and feel, don't think, your way through life's problems. Find the honey in your heart, the sweetness that arises from loving your way through life."

May you find just the right symbolic New Moon seeds to plant this evening. May they really reflect your hearts desire. May you listen to what you know is the truth of what your deepest soul needs right now in your life.

I encourage you to visit www.mooncircles.com each day to read about what sign the moon is in and what phase the moon is in. It is such a beautiful journey to follow the cycles of the moon. I am continuously amazed at how much better my life is when I align myself and my activities (or lack of activities!) with the natural rhythm of the earth and moon.

Goddess Bless and Happy Summer!

Merry Meet and Happy Spring!

Now I banish winter

Now I welcome spring

Say farewell to what is dead

And greet each living thing!


Springtime Greetings,

Winter is over! Farewell beautiful, snowy, restful winter.

March has marched on by. We made it 'round the Wheel of the Year once more from life to death to life again and spring is finally here! The crocus flowers are our sure sign. Soon the bright, yellow forsythia ~that remind me of my late friend Lenore~ and the tulips and the daffodils will come.

There is a beautiful, symbolic, flower-bedecked archway that leads from winter into spring and I feel ready to walk through it. This is a time for renewal and re-birthing when the earth comes back to life with color and newness, when the winds of the east are blowing, cleansing and clearing away the darkness of winter. I find myself hopeful and fully believing in the promise of the future.

Another Chance.

Another chance to live my life the way I want to live it.

Can you feel your spirit rising as the earth awakens?

The energy in Mother Earth's plants and trees is rising, rising, too. Spring is the time of the year that corresponds with the Maiden aspect of our Beloved Triple Goddess. It's a time for celebration, joy, self-expression, courage and new adventures!

Maiden Goddess teaches us to honor our unique needs, thoughts, opinions and desires.

She says, "I am me and you are you."

She is our core strength and the warrior within that is very good at setting the boundaries when necessary. She can inspire you to look about your home and space (and to look within yourself) for the things that no longer resonate with who you are today.

She says....

"Get rid of it all! Let it go. Make room for things that you really want. Release the situations, fears, belief systems, and attitudes that hold you down and hold you back!"

She's the part of us that just IS. She doesn't give her energy to worrying about what others think of her or about what she "should" be doing.

Love, wildness, freedom, risks, courage, adventure and enjoying the moment are her favorite words!

Holy Maiden Goddess come to us! Show us how to bring your energy into our lives!

If you could be any age right now, what would it be? And if you were this part of you, what would you do right now?

Listen to this wise voice and follow your intuition, your callings, your yearnings and desires no matter how far-fetched they may seem to your adult self!

"I give myself permission
To be all I can be
I give myself permission
To be passionate and free!"
~by ALisa Starkweather

Let the maiden in you laugh, dance, sing, go wild, and play for the sake of pure joy and happiness as we enter into the beautiful season of springtime and renewal.

In Her Name,

Melissa Potter


Woman

It's so exciting to know and believe that as a flower blossoms fully, as a tree reaches as deep and as high as it can, we, too are meant to fully blossom in our own, unique way.

Some flowers are gorgeous and showy. Some take over whole fields. But others are tiny and beautiful. Some make us feel like resting and staying a while and some are delicious to eat. An oak inspires strength but a willow makes me want to dance then cry then dance again.

So, Woman, even if you have felt as half-dead, as wilted, as lifeless, bent & broken as last years flower bed, life is, in fact, flowing through your veins. The flame of spirit and the spark of hope still lives in your heart. The seed of your truest self may be hidden below the moist, dark leaves...but it's Springtime now! And this is the perfect, rich soil to nourish and support your deepest soul-self rising, reaching, branching out, and blossoming completely!

What are you becoming?

It can be as simple an answer as..."I am becoming ME."

Like a tree, I stand,
reaching for the light,
gaining strength
from the darkness
at my roots.
My body is twisted
by the storms of life,
yet in my
uniqueness
I am beautiful!

~Author Unknown

So...Bless yourself for the unique woman that you are. Water yourself with permission and glory. Shine the sun of praise and love upon your sacred self and BE WHOMEVER YOU ARE because nothing is more beautiful than your own, unique essence.

Springtime Blessings to You & Yours,

Melissa Potter


March 9, 2009

The Invisible Blessings of March
By Melissa Potter

It is early March when I write this. This past weekend was warm enough to go coat-less. The hot sun called me to dance beneath it with hope. Deep snow melted. The moist air, the wetness, the puddles and sunshine sparkling within them made spring feel close enough to taste and smell.

“Soon the crocus flowers will burst through the cold earth! Soon the daffodils will spring up in that forest over there. I look for them every year,” I told my son this week.

But under those springtime yearnings was a deep pull from within. A call that said, “You aren’t ready for spring yet. Oh no, don’t get your hopes up too high because it’s only March and March is the true test of strength and endurance. Warrior month. You want to get strong, right? Come on, you can make it through another God-awful March and spring will be all the more sweeter once you do. There are things deep inside that still need tending and seeds that need to be planted in small, windowsill pots before they can be sown directly into the soil of your life.”

March is when all the leftover yucky un-dealt-with stuff that you didn’t want to heal in Scorpio time last fall comes up and you have to deal with it deeper than ever. It’s March and you have work to do!

And how on earth does a woman do the work she needs to do to prepare for the Awakening Time when she has so much of the mundane to attend to?

If there is any month of the year that I want to put up a “Do not disturb” sign, it is the month of March. I want to say, “March right on by my door and do not come in! It’s clean-up time!”

Today I woke to snowy whiteness all around and the gray clouds blanketed yesterday’s springtime dreams. It was all an illusion. Spring is no more here than summer is. “Where,” I thought, “is my Witch’s broom?”

The dreamtime of the year – the cold and dark days of fall and winter - are my favorite in many ways. I love the smell of woodstove smoke and curling leaves. Candlelit mornings journaling and the smell of coffee in a warm house can hardly be beat. I could stay in my inner cave surrounded by a healing circle of crystals and stones of deep earth till the end of my days if I didn’t love every other season as much as the next!

For where would I be without the hazy, lazy, nostalgia days of August, the abundance of summer and the Glory Be joy of springtime? I love digging in the Earth, walking on Her barefoot, swimming in Her waters, drumming ‘round Her fires and dancing with Her wild wind.

But March...

March has always been my least favorite month. March is the in-between time for me. It is the chaos time that precedes birth. To me, March is what they’re talking about when they say, “It’s always darkest before dawn.”

And those of us who dance upon the Wheel of the Year know that springtime is the dawn of the year – it is the Maiden inside women and the young fellow in a man. It is the New Moon time that spills forth possibility, daring and adventure. It is the season of rebirth and renewal and one of deep joy and happiness for many.

But that’s spring and around here it’s still March!

March is my personal Underworld time and as Persephone is on her way back to the Upperworld to reunite with her Abundant Earth Mother, Demeter, I fear I am without a guide down here.

I am neither here nor there. Neither dark nor light. I am too much at once. Can I make it alive until the snow melts forever and the sun stays strong and the sap rises in me like in the sweet maples I love to drink from?

Thank Goddess for Equinox and the balance it will bring.

In March I am under the influence of Pisces, my rising sign, and a lifetime worth of memories and experiences that occurred in this month of the year for me. I always say I will change the story because changing the story to one with a healing message (or at least a more positive slant to it) will change the emotions attached to the story or belief. I tell myself that it’s St. Patrick’s Day! It’s when the first day of spring comes! It’s the time of the Maiden and youth and adventure and more! But my body never believes me!

It’s kind of like my body is saying, “Say all the positive affirmations you want to but I am honoring the cycle. March is death time. It’s when death seems deader than usual. And without death, there can be no rebirth. Whether you like it or not, March is hard and deep and swelling. (Albeit with possibility.)


And my body never betrays me.

My body is of the earth and to be of the earth and connected to this Mother of mine means that I will feel her rhythms in my blood and bones. Not all of her songs are joyful songs. Some – like her March songs – are grieving songs.

March means that it’s almost time to come out of the silence and stillness of winter. It means leaving behind the closer connection to myself and the deep dreams of my heart for it means I have to hold open my hands in trust to let fly these fragile dreams of mine.

It means stepping forth to make all the things I have dreamed in the long winter come true. It means tending the seeds in the garden and no more excuses for staying cozy and warm and safe inside with these yet-unrealized stirring dreams…

For they are waiting to be born.

And I am the midwife of them.

And my mother would say, “Well then you bettah get crackin’ Sistah!”

And while I’m at it, I want to make another sign. I want to make a tee-shirt for myself. A Warning tee-shirt that says to people, “My inner life is pouring out of my mouth and my eyes and my body right now in an uncontrollable early springtime flood. The ice and snow within my heart is melting. Great rivers of emotions are rushing! Though there is much wisdom mixed within these muddy waters, you could drown in them unless you root yourself like an old tree while I pass you by. By May this river will calm herself, the path will be clear and determined and there will be a much better chance to sit near me, rest on the newly visible boulders of strength, reflect with me and into me, bathe in me, and splash around without fear of retribution or drowning. But until then, you must swim at your own risk!"

Oh Grandmothers, Great Grandmothers, Enter the Circle and Dance with me!

I want to thank Pallah Stimpson and her friends for the beautiful reminder that The Grandmothers - the ancient ones - are waiting for us to call on them for help, for their blessings, for guidance. I was just reading Plant Spirit Medicine and in it the author shared the message of the plant spirits that he has gotten which is just this - that they cannot help if we don't ask. I related to this deeply. I know that my guides just love for me to ask for help. I always visualize them sitting around me a the tops of the trees watching over me. I say "I know you are sitting around me in the tops of the trees. I ask you to come be with me today; to work through me, speak through me, hear through me, love through my heart and guide me today. I cannot do this without you! And I thank you." I reminded my 12 year old son about this - that they are there, our ancestors, guides, God/Goddess/All That Is - just waiting for him and all of us to ask them for help and they will come right away to our assistance with love for us!

The Mother Oven

This picture above was sent to me by my friend Karen a long time ago. It's of a restaurant that is owned by one of her friends. I've had it so long that I no longer remember the story of it, but it is called, "The Mother Oven" and it reminds me of the nurturing love of our Mothers, of Our Mother Earth who gives endlessly to us and of our Ancient Grandmother Mother's who were so much more connected to the rythms of the earth and the hearth than many of us today remember that we can be. It is so cozy and homey and beautiful. It makes me want to knead dough, feel earth, drink honey.

The good news is that we can all, again, reclaim our connection to the things that nurture our spirit and soul and bodies. We can relearn the ways of old ~ reclaim the natural rythms that run through our blood. There are so many women and men dedicated to teaching the old ways to us. One of the things I dream of most of all is to know how to knit, crochet and weave. This dream is very attainable.

Every single thing I do to stay connected to the old ways ensures that the old ways will never die. I may feel pulled into the whirlwinds of technology but if I keep the roots of my self firmly planted I can keep my center and I can keep all of the parts of life I value ~ old fashioned or not!

"Take what you want and leave the rest" is my motto. I love being able to research and keep in touch with friends and family online. I love to write. But I also love to sit at my kitchen table with the stamps I've picked out at the Post Office and address my envelopes by hand! I love to cook my meals from scratch most of the time and I love the sound of the kettle whistling when we have tea.

Put the kettle on the stove! Let it's whistle stop you in your tracks and remind you to hold on to some of the old ways! (And maybe even to throw your microwave out the window!)

Blessed Be, Melissa

Happy Imbolc!